he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
