we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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