Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
