And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
