He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
