yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
