She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
