No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
