People with herpes should wear stickers.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
