haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
