Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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