he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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