Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i think i just lost a toe
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