I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
