I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
