No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize