no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
