did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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