And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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