I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
