My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
