For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
