If that was your dad, he is hot
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
