Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
someone get that fucking seahorse.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
