I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
