Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just made out with a guy for $7.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
