I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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