i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
