Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
