Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
