this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
