i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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