butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
