The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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