Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
