I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
