is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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