I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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