So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize