come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
