As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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