Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
