I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
and she was petting her beer can
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
