I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
