some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
