I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
