So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
don't judge my taste in strippers
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize