After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
