I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's the barista slut.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
