So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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