Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
