I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
