he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
