think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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