He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
