He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
