WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
