Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
