He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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