Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize