she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
