there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
