corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
